The Best Advice I've Ever Given

A few years ago, I went into a gas station in my hometown to buy cigarettes. The cashier was a friend of mine and he knew about my inspirational writing and the kind of "out of the norm" life I live. Outside the gas station sat a girl, all knees and elbows, around 15 years of age.

My friend said to me, "Would you sit and talk with her a bit? She's getting disheartened about her life." So I said, "Sure," and I went outside to talk to this girl.

I sat on the bench across from her, outside this run-down gas station and as I looked across the table, I saw myself looking back at me. Large brown eyes that shone both hope and despair. Long brown hair, brushed but not styled. And I thought back to myself at her age.

Given all the years and experiences that separated the 15-year-old Bri and the 27-year-old Bri, what would I say to my past self, if I was given the opportunity? In the humid August evening, I spread out my long cotton skirt. I sat and talked to this girl who could have been me.

"This is the best advice I can think of to give you," I said. I took a long drag of my cigarette and exhaled it for dramatic emphasis. "I want you to go out into the world and fuck up."

This young girl's mouth dropped open. That was exactly the reaction I was looking for. I knew, at that moment, she was hearing me. I knew that I had just cut through all the walls that all 15-year-old girls put up between themselves and adults. With those two final little words, I had her.

"Let me explain," I said. "The best thing that can happen to you is for you to finish high school and go on to college. From there, I want you to go out and explore this world. I want you to talk to people that you think you have nothing in common with. Become friends with them. Go out and have adventures. Make mistakes. Make HUGE mistakes. Inconvenience everyone around you - friends, family, lovers. Because through your mistakes and your fuck-ups, you'll learn not only who you are, but who and what you really want to be."

I talked to this girl for almost two hours. I told her stories of my life. I listened to stories of hers. In the end, she went her way and I went mine. I haven't seen her, again.

But my advice stands. And it's the best advice I can give to anyone, really. Everything transformative that I've ever experienced and every great story that I recount at dinner parties? They often started out as really bad decisions.

"Hey! I'm going to hop into a car with 6 people I barely know and go camping 1,900 miles away. There'll be about 30,000 other people around in a state park - none of which have showered in 2 weeks. There won't be any toilets or cell phone reception, but I'm gonna come back with a puppy!"

"Hey! I'm going to go and dress up in Medieval garb. At 11:00 pm, somewhere in Pennsylvania with myself dressed like a hippy and my friend dressed like a Catholic priest, we're going to go get carryout beer from the only bar we can find. It happens to be a biker bar and the guy who's staying with the car? He'll be crocheting a scarf in the back seat!"

"Hey! I'm going to strap myself to a guy I don't know and jump out of a perfectly good airplane at 13,000 feet with nothing between myself and death but a thin sheet of nylon!"

See? Bad decisions.

But each and every one not only turned out for the best, but gave me an experience and memories I'll carry, forever. Essentially, each horrible decision and each fuck-up, they made me who I am, today. I am grateful for each and every time I made a mistake, each time that I stepped outside my comfort zone and each time that I said, "Well . . . why not?" Each time, adventure happened. And each time, I learned a little bit more about who I was, as a person.

During our daily routine, we get stuck. We begin to think that who we are during our routine life is who we really are, at our core. This is almost never the case.

Camping with 30,000 other people, I learned that I am not alone in my strangeness and that there are many different ways of existing in the world. Walking into a biker bar dressed in crazy costumes? I learned that I can be adaptive in awkward situations. Jumping out of a plane? I learned that I am strong, confidant, brave and that I can FLY!

And that's the truth. So I urge you all to take risks and make some bad decisions. I encourage you to fuck-up and fail and flounder and be confused. Stretch and do something you've never done before.

My comfort zone expanding as of late? I auditioned for a movie (which I didn't get), and I'm competing in a landscape art competition this weekend. I've never done A) an art competition or B) landscape painting, so I'm really psyched to be pushing my art envelope in this new way.

What are you doing to push your comfort zone? What do you find when you're outside of it? Let me know. I'd love to hear your stories!

Until next time, remember that every single one of us are visionaries. We just have to figure out where we excel.

Love to All,

-Bri


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Divine Decluttering

Living out your creative dreams isn't all glitz and glamor. This week, I rolled up my sleeves and got some organizing done around the house. I'm not really a big one for cleaning - I can always find something "better" to do with my time (like researching various aspects of creative business). But this week, I felt the need to organize, tidy up, and make my life more efficient.

Whenever I complete a project, I make sure to document it. Whether it's on a Pinterest board or in my 2013 Calender and Workbook. I find that going back and seeing what I've accomplished helps remind me, on my bad Lupus days, that I do get things done. It may just take me a little longer than most people.

Pinterest is a site that I just love! It's tons of helpful hints, hair advice, fashion inspiration and artistic input that I know what to do with. I can't rave highly enough about this site, so come follow me!

Seriously, these two resources have done more for me, my business and my creative journey than ever before.

What did I do this week? I'm glad you asked! I went through my clothes and cleaned them out. If you want to have more coming in, let some stuff go. Then, after I had weeded out everything I was going to get rid of, I reorganized what was left. My armoire has so much room in it, now! It's all about how you fold. Check this out!

I love divine decluttering. Even the smallest act of cleaning can be a sacred, spiritual and creative act. All it takes is the intent. I am happy about my decluttering and don't see it as a "chore" because I'm making room in my life for all the wonderful things that are on their way to me.

I love it when I find some tip to make my life run efficiently, don't you? What other tips for efficiency in life have you come across? Which ones do you use? I'd love to hear your tips and tricks! How do you divinely declutter your life?


Remember, my lovelies, we are all visionaries. We just have to figure out where we excel.

Love to All,

-Bri

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Original Art: Setting Dream Intention

 

Setting Dream Intention
8 1/2" by 11"
paper, gouache, ink

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In an Instant - What I Do

My lovelies, I want to share this video with you. This man survived a plane crash. That, in and of itself, is amazing. What's more amazing is what he said that it taught him that we can all learn from.

Dearest ones, in my hometown bar a couple of months ago, I sat across from a man and had a beer with him. This sounds mundane, but it was far from that. This man, I graduated high school with and, in a town with only 3 stoplights, that's big. It means that we grew up our entire lives together. We saw each other grow and change.

In high school, I was very aware of social strata. I was a band geek. This man, he was a jock. In our high school, those two cliques don't talk to each other. They keep their distance because, most of the time, it was bullies vs. bullied.

This man, he'd never done anything to me, personally, but in our entire school lives of knowing each other, I don't think I said more than 3 sentences to him. In the interest of forging a new connection, I greeted him with a smile. We each bought our beers and we sat down to talk.

Conversations like this always come down to, "What are you doing, now?" That question is so hard for me to answer. It's not cut and dry. It's not short and sweet. The answer is long and I never feel like I fully describe what I do and what occupies my days.

"Well, I'm disabled." I tell him. And I tell him all about Systemic Lupus and chronic pain and what all of that entails. I tell him about the days I can't get out of bed. I tell him about all the doctors and how, at 31 years old, they're using phrases like, "the quality of life we can give you." I tell him that there is no fix and my prognosis is uncertain. I tell him about my strokes and all the tests that still need to be done.

Then, I tell him what being sick has taught me.

Life is not all bad. In fact, it's simple and miraculous. It's taught me that I want to spend every single day playing with and reading to my daughter Pookie as much as I can. I want to smell the top of her head and kiss Hubby and help my stepson with his math homework.

I tell him that I see getting and being sick, of having strokes and coming through them, as one of the best things that's ever happened to me because it put me in touch with what really matters.

When a stroke happens, there's no warning. All of a sudden your ordinary Tuesday gets derailed. Your entire week (and sometimes life) is derailed. Strokes don't care that you have to be at work. They don't care if your job might fire you because you can no longer do the work or can't show up because you're on a heart monitor in the hospital.

In an instant, everything that you've worked towards, everything that you think is so important, suddenly isn't anymore. When you can't speak or understand the language you've spoken since birth, when you don't know who your family and friends are, if you're lucky to come out the other side with most of your faculties intact, your entire life is re-prioritized.

In an instant, your life has changed forever and there's no going back.

Then, I tell him about this project. Visionary Bri. I tell him, "I write and do art. I run giveaways and write reviews, I promote and encourage artists (focusing on women) both locally and worldwide. I am a life coach and a creativity specialist. My followers and readers include cosplayers, LARPers, rennies, fashionistas, dancers, artists, mamas and gamers as well as other passionate, creative individuals from all walks of life. My audience reach is nearing 7,000 unique viewers each week with viewership in 79 countries (and counting). My mailing list subscribers are in the 800-900 range at last count."

"But mostly," I say, "I help people live the kind of life they've always wanted to live. I give them the encouragement and the connections to do so. I want to help people, so that's what I do."

The more I spoke, the more his jaw dropped. And the more his jaw dropped, the more I just wanted to pour out what I'd learned by facing my own mortality. I wanted to wake him up. I wanted to wake everyone in the bar up. I wanted to take everyone's shoulders and shake them a bit and wake the world up.

This is it! This life is short! Plan for tomorrow, but bask in what's important, today! You will never know when tomorrow won't come, for you.

I wanted to throw away all the economic statuses and demographics and ideologies and political views that separate us, as people, and show each of you how we are so alike. So much more alike than we are different.

I guess a simpler idea would be, "I try to wake the world up to the beauty and wonder of today. I try to empower people to chase 'their always wanted to's and 'why didn't I's. And I try to remind them that what's really important is the impact you've made on those that will survive you and carry on in the world after you're gone."

That is the short version of what I do.

I have so much to tell you, my lovelies, about what this life has taught me and I want to share it with you. And it's too long, too much, and too beautiful to give you in little blog post snippets. This is what I want to do, my precious ones. I want to write a book for you.

I'm in the middle of it, now, and it's coming along nicely.

 It will be a book filled with love and lessons from my heart and life.

Do you remember when I said that I was going to ask you for help? Well, my dears, this is it. I need funding to put out this book and I'm asking you, my wonderful fans and readers to help me.

On the left, at the top of this blog, I've put a "donate" button from PayPal. If you like my writing and would like it to continue, if you can spare even $5, it would help.

I'm saving up to purchase my own domain and to start my own press and I can't do it alone. Being disabled and on a severely limited income with a family, I can't really get a loan to start projects.

From one soul to another and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me. I adore each and every one of you and look forward to hearing from you.

We are all visionaries, my beautiful ones.

Love to All,

-Bri


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The Art of Asking

There are a lot of TED talks I see where my brain is engaged. The internal brain-wheels spin and I'm given a new idea. I recommend watching every single one of their videos. These cerebrally engaging talks are great, but this talk that I am about to share with you engaged my heart. 

"Yes," my heart whispers. I long for this kind of connection between myself and you, my fans and readers. Brava, Amanda Palmer and brava, Neil Gaiman for supporting her while she wrote the speech. Enjoy, my lovelies.

This reminds me of my father's sage advice to me. "Ask," he said. "Always ask. The worst that they can say is 'no.'" Because of his advice, I ask. I ask to be on television. I ask businesses, "Would you like me to help promote you?" I ask, "Hubby, do you think you could bathe the Pookie, tonight? My back is really hurting."

But, sometimes, it's hard to get up the gumption to ask.

Within the next week, I'm going to take a big leap. I'm going to ask you, my fans and my audience, for help. I am scared to do this. I feel like I should be able to write and to create and exist in this life and to just do it all . . . without help.

I feel like I should be strong enough to do it alone, but I can't. I don't exist inside a vacuum. I don't write in a pocket of space-time where I am not effected by the world. I must live in the world and be a part of it. I drink coffee. I play with my daughter. I am a person, just like you and I have bills to pay.  
 

 So, from one human being to another, I see you, my lovelies. I hear you. And I trust you. All I will ask is for some help to keep me creating the work you like to see. And thank you, in advance, for this help that is so hard for me to ask for that I know you will come through on.





Blessings to each one of you in all that you do and don't forget that we are all visionaries. We just have to figure out where we excel.

Love to All,

-Bri

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How to Begin

Someone commented a couple of weeks ago, wondering how I center, myself to begin creating. This commenter said that they wasted their first 10-15 minutes just trying to figure out how to begin. I'd like to answer this commenter, now, because I think we all struggle with this from time to time.

Dear Anonymous Commenter,

I understand what you're saying. My process tends to be a bit erratic. I don't sit down every day at the same time and write. I know writers and other creatives that have that kind of a process, but it doesn't work for me. I will tell you about "how" I go about writing and I'll give you some suggestions that may help you. Take from this what speaks to you and leave what doesn't. All of us face this issue, at times, and we all have our little quirky ways of trying to deal with it. Do what feels right for you.

First, my process for creating anything starts with an idea - as all things do. I know writers that sit down at the page or artists that stand in front of the paper and don't know what's going to come out. That's okay, if that's you, but it's not me. So, I start with an idea and I come up with things to write about all the time. I keep a list of them in the back of my sketchbook so, if on a particular day I know I should write, I just select one that speaks to me at that time and go.

How do I center to begin? Well, first of all, my enviornment is very important for me. We all have our preferences. I need to be able to be in a place where I can have laser-like focus, then back off and give myself a "brain break." I like to write in a local bar, for this reason. I can sit in a booth and have my reference materials scattered around me while I focus and sip coffee, or I can go to the bar and have a friendly conversation. Then, back to the task at hand.

If I'm unable to be at the bar I prefer, I write sitting in my bed. Now I know that all the sleep experts say not to do anything in bed but sleep, but that' s never worked for me. My bed is soft, it's comfy, my back is supported and I can have something on Netflix in the background for noise.

Now, for timing. I find myself to be almost completely 100% unable to create in the daytime. No matter the project, when the sun is up, I just can't bring myself to focus on it. I like creating at night. I like that all things become possible in the dark and the shadows, that things become more intimate in the dark. I feel like I can hear my inner creative voice better when the glaring light of day is done. This normally means that I don't get to sleep until 2 - 4 am, but it's the schedule that I work best on.

As far as the actual doing goes, like I said, I have an idea in my head so I've already got some idea where I'm going to go. What I hear when you say that you "don't know where to begin" is that you're afraid you're going to begin "wrong." And let me tell you something - that's what editing is for. That's what proofreading is for. Please let go of that fear of being wrong. Just jump in. Writing begins with just one sentence. A piece of artwork begins with just one sketched line. There's nothing in the RULES OF WRITING (which we're all afraid of breaking) that says those first little attempts have to appear in the finished product.

When I was 15, I took an amazing weekend writing retreat with the absolutely incredible Pat Schneider. (I recommend every single one of her books, so get them all! They're one of the best resources out there.) Pat introduced me to timed writing, encouraged all of us to just get our hand moving, to break through the fear of doing it "wrong" and just be ourselves on the page. She encouraged us just to show up, to tell our truth and to let that be. At first, it was scary. I looked around the room at all the other people who were so much older than me. They were just scribbling away. Finally, I just took a deep breath and wrote, "I don't know how to do this. I'm afraid that all the other people in here are Shakespeare and I'm just some stupid kid babbling on the page." I was honest. I stayed with my first thoughts (the ones before the fear, the most honest ones) and wrote them down. Eventually, the fear fell away because I realized that even Shakespeare didn't get it write the first time. Iambic pentameter doesn't flow from our mouths or thoughts naturally. Even the greats have to work at their craft. Also check out the books by Natalie Goldberg and Julia Cameron. Very great ladies!

 Sometimes, when I have something deeply personal and intense that I want to write about, I picture a friend in my mind. At the top of the page, I write "Dear (Whoever I'm Writing To)." Sometimes it helps me to pretend that I'm telling this story to a close friend because if you can sit and tell your close friends a story and have them saying, "Really? What happened then?" it means that you're a writer. That's all writing is. It's telling a story.

Imagine that you've got a good friend or someone you love sitting in front of you. You want to tell them this story, you want to give them a message. Don't worry about "passive or active voice." Don't worry about punctuation, about spelling or grammar. Just get your thoughts on the page. Just be honest and make sure they person that you're picturing is someone that loves you, that cares about you and that fundamentally approves of everything you do. If you don't have someone like that in your life, pick someone famous or from history that you think could understand you.

When I'm writing, sometimes I write to Changing Woman, White Buffalo Calf Pipe Woman, The Magdalene or Tori Amos. If I'm writing about something especially strange, in my head, I will talk to The Blogess. All these women, I think they would understand me. I think that we could be friends, if ever given the chance. Of course, some of these women may not even exist, but it doesn't matter to me. It works. Then, during the editing process, I go back and erase, "Dear Whomever." It allows my voice to flow out of me, to be sincere and it allows me writing to sound like I am actually speaking to you, my reader.

In short, don't let the fear of not doing something "correctly," get the better of you. Begin. Just begin. Jump into it, flounder around, do it poorly. It's okay. You can always go back, later, and erase a sentence or change a word or rework a line. At the beginning, nothing is set in stone. The most important thing is to get your thoughts out of your head and down onto the paper or into the file or whatever. If you don't, they will never ever be shared with the world and your unique perspective piece of human history will be lost forever. And what a terrible thing to lose.

My dear, no matter who you are and no matter where you are. Be brave! Be strong and allow yourself to mess up or be vulnerable. I believe in you and I hope this post helped.


Until next time my loves, please remember that we are all visionaries. We just have to figure out where we excel,


Love to All,


Bri


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Childhood Wishes Can Come True

No matter how silly it may seem later, as little children, sometimes we see things out in the world that we want. And, sometimes, the things that our little child hearts desire are a little strange. We've all had this experience, I'm sure.

When a friend of mine was little, she wanted a calculator and she wanted to work at a grocery store. In her child-mind, she wanted to press the buttons on the cash register. She just thought it was the coolest thing and she wanted a calculator so she could add things up. Luckily, my friend had an understanding mother who got her a calculator and my friend spent hours with it, adding up the numbers in the phone book. She was tickled to death to be adding up those numbers.

In my childhood, I asked my parents for something I'd seen on television. I wanted a Ronco Food Dehydrator. Oh, how I wanted that thing! I watched the infomercials (still a hobby of mine) and pined away for the ability to make my own fruit roll-ups or turkey jerky. My little heart wanted this so badly!

Me at 7 years old with our dog, Sasha,
wanting to make turkey jerky

To this day, I'm not sure why my little heart wanted that food dehydrator, but my parents (confused as they often were by my antics) probably wrote it off as "another one of those weird things Bri's into, now." This has happened more than once over my lifetime, so far.

Years passed and I never got my food dehydrator.

This past Christmas of 2013, my friend, my father and I were talking about dreams. It's a favorite topic of mine. We were talking about holidays and years past and the topic of the "one present I never got, but really wanted" came up. Of course, I mentioned the food dehydrator and my father said, "You still wanted one after all these years?" You betcha. I sure did! My father asked me, "Why?" and my answer was the same. "To make turkey jerky and fruit roll-ups!"

After all these 20-some-odd years, all the locales, all the achievements and all my adventures, the little girl in me still cried out for this thing. The little one in me still wanted the self-sufficiency and fun and healthy snacks that this device offered me.

The days of counting toward the holidays passed and I forgot all about the conversation with my father.

Christmas morning came and a large, slightly heavy box was placed in my lap. And what do you think was in that box?

You're right. It was my very own food dehydrator! Sitting next to me, hubby gave me a look of confusion as I threw my head back and laughed. My father had heard me and responded. I gave my father a huge hug and we laughed some more.

My lovelies, if you don't make your dreams known, then there is no way that the people who love you can help you make them a reality! If you don't tell your friends and family, look for a mentor, or hire a life coach to help you (I'm still working on setting that aspect of this business up). it's going to be a lot harder to get what you want. Asking is always good. The worst they can say is "no."

And, the best thing that can happen is that someone will be in exactly the right place at the perfect time to help you. Then, you get to your dreams / goals / wishes that much faster! Ask, my dears. Always ask. Let the world conspire to give you everything you want. Believe that it can happen. Or you can muster your own fortitude, guts and resources and get yourself your own damned food dehydrator! *wink*

Tonight, I started and finished my very first tray of beef jerky. Isn't it beautiful? Next batch is turkey jerky!

My very first batch of beef jerky in the dehydrator

My happy face, makeup-free today, after the jerky-fying had begun

So, my gorgeous dears, what is it that you want? What does your heart sing for? What did you never get as a child that you still want, to this day? It's not too late to get it or achieve that dream. Leave a comment or email me at brifloorwilson(at)gmail(dot)com and let me know what your inner kiddo still wants, no matter how "silly" it sounds. I'd love to hear from you.

Until next time, please remember that we are all visionaries. We just have to figure out where we excel.


Love to All,

Bri


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Frogs in Tutus or Whatever's In Front of You

I'd like to share with you a big secret about living your dreams and building a great big, full, awesome creative life.

Ready?

Here it is . . .

It doesn't happen overnight.

I know! Shocking, right?

"Now, Bri," I can hear you saying. "I already knew that." I know that you already knew that, but that is just the point of this post, starting with what you know.

Believe it or not, something that simple is the way to start. Start with what you know. Do you want to write? Write about your life. Write about what's right in front of you. Write what you experience every day because only you are living your life and ONLY YOU are thinking your thoughts.

The most amazing thing about this common and best approach is this: you're not the only one. No matter what you're thinking, someone else has thought it before. But that's not bad. See? You're not alone. No matter what you've thought or you're experiencing, there's someone out there who is going through or has gone through the same thing. They can relate. That's what art is about.

Art and being creative is about communicating a message in your own way. And, once you put your message out there, a thousand people will resonate with it and a thousand people will think, "Oh my gosh! I'm not alone! I thought I was the only one who thought putting tutus on frogs was a cute idea." (Or whatever your idea happens to be.)

I just came up with that image in my head on the fly. I Googled it and look what I found:

See? Apparently someone liked that idea enough to make a stuffed frog in a tutu. No matter what you've come up with, there's someone who will agree with you and your projects that you put out there will resonate with them. It's a wonderful, splendifferous fact, my lovelies.

Take, for instance, being a mama. I'm a mama and I talk about it way too much, I'm sure. But my Precious Pookie is quite literally the best thing that's every happened to me and words cannot describe how much she lights up my heart. But children can be frustrating. That's okay. Take whatever you're frustrated, angry, annoyed, joyous, or excited about, take that experience and make something with it.

This week, I found this video that illustrates my point:

Dearies, none of us is alone in this world, but no one can tell your story for you. No one has your unique perspective, your particular spin on a topic. Only you have the power to tell your story and unveil your truth.

Still don't believe me? Look at this:

It's still a frog in a tutu, but it's vastly different from the first one. So get out there, my bright beautiful ones and tackle that project you've always dreamed of completing. You can do it! The frogs and I have faith in you.

And, until next time, please keep in mind that we are all visionaries. We just have to figure out where we excel.


Love to All,

-Bri



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