The Source of Strength

Through the course of writing this blog (it's almost 1 year old!), there is a comment that keeps coming up, time and again. It's not one that I mind, but it's one that confuses me.

I write to inspire. I write to encourage and I write to share my story. I written about testifying in court against my mother and how I'd like to approach my own death. I've written about what it's like to skydive, what it's like to have a stroke and what it's like to have PTSD.

The comment / compliment that keeps coming up, throughout my sharing stories with you is about how strong I am.

To this compliment, I normally reply, "At the end of the day, we're a lot stronger than we think we are," and this is true, but it's not the end of the statement.

Yes, I've had a lot happen to me in my short 32 years. Yes, I've had many adventures and weathered many storms, but I don't think I'm necessarily "stronger" than anyone else. When it comes down to it, there are two options of dealing with what this world can throw at you. You can either weather it and let your story continue, or you can let it break you.

Gandhi has a nice quote about this:

Most of the time, I've chosen to weather things, seek help and try to move beyond them. I choose to not surrender. Most of the time, even through depression and Lupus, I convince myself that my story isn't going to end with the latest setback. I remind myself that my story isn't all written, yet, and that there are many shining and brilliant days awaiting me.

Maybe that, in itself, is strength - refusing to "go quietly into that good night."

But, again, I don't see myself as a "strong person." I merely see myself as a person who decided to not let the bottoming-out define me. We all have failures. We all have tragedies and mistakes and oopsies in our past, but we don't have to let them define who we are, forever.

Yes, I'm depressed and have anxiety. Yes, I grew up in an abusive home and I have health problems. But those things are merely facts about me and things that happened. They are not "me."

In the movie, Dark City, a race of aliens is searching for the existence of the human soul by swapping people's memories between different bodies. At the end of the movie, the aliens state that the soul is more than just the sum of our memories. Our past influences who we are, today and in the future, but we are more at our core than just the sum of our memories.

From what I can see, all "strength" is, really, is the ability to pick yourself up when you've stumbled along the way. And if I or any of my readers have done this, then maybe we're all strong people. We all have falling down moments, but in the world of Oriah Mountain Dreamer in her poem, The Invitation,"

"It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children."

That, I think, is real strength.

So, my lovelies, do you think that you are a strong person? Why or why not? Are you willing to own your strength? Tell me about it.

Until next time,

Love to All My Relations,

-Bri

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Forgiving Dr. Mengele: An Inspirational Story

Today, I watched the wonderful 2002 documentary, Forgiving Dr. Mengele.

A quick history: Dr. Mengele was a doctor in the notorious Auschwitz concentration camp in Nazi Germany. Eva Mozes Kor and her sister, Miriam, were children that survived Dr. Mengele's experiments on twin children. The documentary focuses on Eva and her journey in mentally processing what happened to her in Auschwitz, forgiving the perpetrators of the crimes against her and the effects that her forgiveness has had on other survivors and the world, at large.

The documentary is, as of this writing, available for viewing on Netflix streaming.

Of all the documentaries I've watched, I deem this one to be the most profound and important. 

None of us comes through this life unscathed. As a victim of rape, violence and abuse, I have come through much in this life. Others have come through much worse.

We come through unloving parents, teasing and ostracizing by our peers, rape, violence, abusive relationships, gaslighting, poverty, racism, sexism and intolerance. But, no matter what we have come through, for the most part, none of it comes close to the horrors and pain that Eva, her sister and all the survivors of the Holocaust came through.

I found this documentary inspiring. Eva and her twin sister, Miriam, survived atrocities and pain that most of us could never even dream of experiencing. Even after the death of her sister (which was a direct result of Dr. Mengele's experiments), Eva still manages to look past the pain and toward a brighter horizon.

This horizon is one that few of us could imagine getting to after such an ordeal. Eva's horizon is the forgiving of her tormentors and the building of hope for a better and more understanding future.

This begs the question, for me, "If Eva can forgive something so great, why can't we all forgive the things in our lives that seem so small by comparison?"

I would have thought there would be support for Eva for such courageous acts - even going so far as to visit the house of a Nazi doctor who worked in Auschwitz in order to gain some clarity and closure. But it seems that this is not the case. Arguments fly of "Who are we to forgive them? We are not God!" and "If I forgive, I would be dishonoring the memory of my family who died." to "We demand acts of atonement for what was done to us!"

I can not say that I would blame those who are still hurting over their experiences. Maybe, if I were in their shoes, I would feel the same way, hard pressed to let the past go. But Eva's response is simple and pure. "Getting even has never healed a single person."

Eva is not about forgetting. And, in fact, world should never forget the horrors that happened, lest we lose the lesson found therein and allow something like the Holocaust to happen, again. "I don't want to be a victim all my life, " says Eva. "That is why I forgive."

And Eva is right. Our forgiveness does not change the nature of the acts committed against us as wrong. It doesn't even matter if the people who hurt us deserve to be forgiven. Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, our own hearts, our own spirits. We have things we want to do and people (hopefully free from pain) that we want to be. We forgive because we want to move on.

What was done to Eva, her sister and millions of others was wrong. Nothing will change that fact. But holding on to the pain, to the trauma, to the hatred of the perpetrators does nothing for the healing of the wounds in the human soul. Everyone is entitled to feel whatever they wish regarding this issue, to forgive or not. All I am saying is that Eva and her perspective inspire me.

Eva inspires me to think that, if she can forgive such a huge encroachment on her being, why can we all not forgive the little (by comparison) violations in our own lives. Eva and her story give me hope for a more forgiving world.


And I come to find out that Eva and I live in the same state. How amazing and cool is that?!? Maybe, one day soon, I'll get to meet with her and thank her for all the work she's done.

Me? I've forgiven most of those who have harmed me. As I said in my first vlog, amnesty is granted to all. (And please, make no mistake, there is a big difference between forgiving people and allowing them back into your life so they can hurt you, again.) I do not want to live out my days in fear, in pain, in keeping the negative things in my life in the forefront of my brain. I prefer hope, joy, reason, compassion, empathy and oneness.

Until next time, my lovelies. Please remember that we are all visionaries.We just have to figure out where we excel.

Go to Episode 2

Love to All,


-Bri


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Christmas Day

I know that a new post isn't due from me until Wednesday, but I'd like some time to be with my family, so I'll post now.

I'd like to share with you a quote from my second favorite all-time Christmas movie, Scrooged, starring Bill Murray.

"You can still have fun tonight! Call people you haven't seen - a college friend, an old army buddy, your personal banker. . . I'm not crazy. It's Christmas Eve. It's the one night when we all act a little nicer. We...we smile a little easier. We...we...share a little more. For a couple of hours, we are the people we always hoped we would be."

And, even though I don't like most Christmas music, I love this song and I thought I'd share it with you. It's not a Christmas carol, per say, but please. The message goes out from me to you.

"If your heart is longing and you've been afraid to try
sorrow's kept you company and the dance has passed you by,
I'll lift you up and blaze with you across the moonlit sky
on the Night Before Christmas

And you don't have to be an angel to sing harmony
and you don't have to be a child to love the mystery
And you don't have to be a wise man on bended knee
The heart of this Christmas is in you and me"

From my heart to yours, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from my little corner of the world. May there be joy, family, and peace of mind to each of you. Blessings! 


Love to All,

-Bri

Excuses? Invalid. Try Again.

I found this picture around the internet and I thought I'd share it for this week's weekend inspiration. Seeing this prompted me to get up the gumption and ask my assistant to send some inquiry emails that I'd flip-flopped about sending. Emails that might move this Visionary thing I've got going on a bit further. After seeing this picture and realizing everything that this man must've had to go through to get where he is, it gave me a bit of a kick in the pants.

My dear ones, I still have that little voice in my head, sometimes, that says, "I don't know if you can do this." It's okay. We all have it. And it doesn't matter that, no matter how much you pursue your dreams and your goals, that little voice still persists. What does matter is not letting that little voice rule you. 

Dream, always. Reach, always. Try, always. Go, always. Get up again, always.

A friend of mine who's been single for quite a while called me up this week. "I don't want to drive all that way for this date and maybe get stood up." "Go," I encouraged her. "Always go." It's the difference between 'I believe that this might take me closer to my dream of a partner to go through life with' or 'I've given up on this dream.' I told my friend about some of the absolutely horrific dates I'd been on, how I'd been stood up and much worse. Then, I told her what a friend did for me, in my time of doubt.

My now-hubby and I, in the beginning of our relationship, broke up. By happenstance, there was a large social gathering of my friends happening on his parents' property that had been planned months before. Two hours from where the party was taking place, I danced from one foot to the other saying, "I don't know if I should go." Finally, my friend took me by the shoulders and pushed me toward their van. "You're going," they said in a very forceful tone.

This situation had the potential for major personal drama and a horrific outcome. However, had I not gone, hubby and I probably wouldn't have ever gotten back together and I would not have my Precious Pookie and the life I do, now.

When times are the hardest, it is then that we need to persevere. When it seems most dismal and most bleak, it is then that we have to look even harder for that spark to guide us. So, no matter the situation, I will always say, "Go. Dream. Dare. Do. Risk." Always. For without the going, the dreaming, the daring, the doing and the risking, miracles can't happen.

I watched the movie Men in Black 3, this week. If you haven't seen it, stop reading right now and go watch it. Don't worry . . . I'll wait . . .

Did you watch it? Good.

That movie is now added to my top 20 movies of all time for the character of Griffin. Such an amazing character. One of his quotes is this, " A miracle is something that seems impossible but happens anyway."

 My lovelies, miracles are happening every single day. That, you can bank on. And there's no reason that a miracle can't happen for you, no matter what you're wishing for. There's no reason that it can't happen to you, today. One small step is all it takes. Trust me on this. Miracles aren't announced with a flourish of trumpets, anymore, but they certainly can happen and (often) in the most unlikely of places on some idle Tuesday.

What have you been dreaming of, dears? What steps toward your miracle could you take? Try to take a tiny one, this weekend. Let the universe conspire with you for a change.

PS -- Don't forget to dance!

Here's a song to get you started --

 

 "The Logical Song"

Until next time, my beautiful ones, please remember that we are ALL visionaries. We just have to figure out where we excel.

Love to All,

-Bri

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